When you Disagree

When you disagree with someone,
the way out of that disagreement
is not to strengthen it
by holding firmly to your own side.

The most valuable
and productive way out
is to resolve the situation
by finding common ground. 

That does not mean giving in.
It does not mean forcing
the other person to give in to you.
Instead, it means being as open,
honest and direct as possible. 

It means acting with a genuine desire
to arrive at the best solution
for everyone involved. 

To every extent possible,
forget about the disagreement itself
and look for what the situation
is trying to tell you.

Imagine yourself
in the place of the other person,
and look at things from that perspective.

Nothing of value is produced by arguing.
Look instead for ways to cooperate,
to understand and to make yourself
more clearly understood. 

When you're concerned
only with what works for you,
and only with what affects you,
then you're never going
to receive any cooperation. 

Yet when you concern yourself
with what's best for all involved,
that's when you start to get somewhere.

~~Unknown~~